Athene, thank you for making this possible

[Zapatos80]

 

It's crazy, it seems like not so long ago I was taking my first shot at 100NL (and crashing and burning).

 

 

I almost gave up on poker entirely that day. That was nothing new. I started playing poker in 2004 (limit back in the day). Ever since then, I dreamed of making it as a pro, yet failing miserably at every turn. I just couldn't handle it psychologically & emotionally. The best I could do was grind out a small profit by clearing bonuses every now and then. In 2009 I had a burst of motivation and had moderate success playing as a prop at various small sites, but perseverance was shortlived.

 

Finally, at the end of 2009, Athene made his big entrance on the poker scene. His huge success, making over 100,000$ with a meager 0,33BB/100 winrate gave me hope. I had been following him since his first Athene clip in WoW. I didn't get Merciless Gladiator, but I hit Gladiator on 2 of my characters and I considered gaming speed/reflexes one of my strength. The transition to 24 tables seemed natural and Athene's success only made it seem that much more attainable.

 

Unfortunately, it wasn't that simple. First of all, my bankroll was only a couple thousands dollars, not enough to 24 table 100NL. So I started off grinding 50NL and barely breaking even. After a while of that, I cashed in my first 650$ Platinum star bonus & the initial 600$ deposit bonus. With a bankroll of 4,5k, I decied to take my shot at 100NL and basically emulate Athene. Again this, didn't turn out so well (see above). I remember that day vividly, the feeling of despair and I thought that despite my best efforts, poker was probably just not for me. Fortunately, I already had a Bachelor's degree in computer science (and just now finished another in French/English translation), so I had other options.

 

Yet, something inside me just wouldnt give up. I guess deep down, I knew I could make this work and that I just needed to find a way that worked for me. So I stepped down to 50NL with my bruised 2.5k bankroll, bought Leakbuster and started some serious studying (the Concepts of the Week over at the 2+2 micro forums were a tremendous help : http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/78/micro-stakes-full-ring/concept...

 

I made the resolution to read one per day, including all the discussion, and take 1 page of notes. I did this for 2 months, and by the end I had over 60 pages of notes and a good grasp of poker fundamentals. After that, my game finally started taking off. I was starting to show a decent profit at 50NL so I hopped on Fulltilt to try 50NL 6-max Rush poker while clearing the initial 600$ bonus. For the first time ever, I was doing solid. Won 1,000$ at the tables, 600$ from the bonus and 400$ from rakeback.

 

Confident in my newfound skill, I went back to Pokerstars to resume my much neglected Supernova race. Even though I was a small winner, the battle was far from won. I had the summer off from college, yet I could barely get in more than 50,000 hands a month 24-tabling. I had crazy mood swings, bouts of depression and basically all kind of weird stuff getting in the way of my A-game (or even playing at all). This wasn't new, but in a context where everything should have been perfect, it just didn't make sense, so I sought help.

 

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder (type 2, mainly depressive). In a way, it was a relief to finally find out what the hell was wrong with me. Fortunately, medication was not only available, but very effective. In short order, my mood was finally back to normal, as in not off the charts or insanely depressed for no reason at all. Needless to say, my poker game improved by leaps and bounds, both in quantity and quality.

 

Shortly after that, my bankroll was back up to a respectable level for 100NL (50 buy-ins). I read Miller's new book twice in October, Small Stakes No-Limited Hold'em and it really took my game to a new level in terms of turn & river play. Almost a year later, I was ready to take on 100NL again and this time, it was do-or-die. Fortunately, it seems my efforts were not wasted and I was very happy with the results : 

Granted, 74k hands is not exactly a huge sample to determine a winrate, but it was enough to give me a huge boost in confidence in contrast with my first shot at 100NL. All that was left to do at that point was finish what I had started : Supernova status. In my haste, I played a couple of monstrous sessions (up to 48 tables at some point due to Pokerstars' table bug). Playing at that pace like a total zombie robot was disastrous for my winrate to say the least, lol :

 

 

But in the end, it was all worth it!

 

 

Today feels like graduation day and after all this work, I can honestly say it was definitely one the biggest achievements of my life, not really in terms of money earned this year, but in terms of player progression. I am confident that next year will be a very succesful one, and in a way, this is all thanks to Athene. His success inspired me and kept me going during the toughest times, so thank you Chiren80!

 

We don't often hear about success stories from the micros, so I write this to all the struggling micro-players who dream of making it as a pro. As Chiren inspired me, so I hope to inspire others. A wise man once said that a true champion is not someone who never fails, but someone who keeps getting back up, no matter how often he falls. Best of luck to all the grinders out there!

[A Perv Kitten]

:)

[Pokerpingu]

48 tabling nl100????????? WTF, how can you still have reads then

[Winnie]

Very nice, congratz on making it!

[Pokerpingu]

Was the bipolar disorder btw from poker? Or other reasons

 

 

And congratz on Supernova:) Very well done!

[Pokerpingu]

Ok since you told us about that book....

 

Small Stakes Hold'em (Miller, Sklansky & Malmuth), do you mean this book? I was just reading it and this is about LIMIT holdem?

[Zapatos80]

Basically just the HUD, but the sheer speed made me let go of so many small edges & I had so many misclicks that I was leaking all over the place, not worth it :p

 

I probably had BPD way before poker, it just became much more problematic when mixed with poker, a game that requires a lot of discipline and mental stability.

 

Here's the NL version of SSHENL : http://www.amazon.com/Small-Stakes-No-Limit-Holdem-Miller/dp/098414...

Pokerpingu said:

48 tabling nl100????????? WTF, how can you still have reads then

[johnnyboy188]

sirously when i look at this, i wanna be just like you.

ill hope i make it as far as you one day.

[ikke]

I remember you from back when I was still pokering and hanging around on friendlypoker.

I'm happy to see that you made some really good progress.

Respect man!

[Tomek]

Gratz on getting out of such a valley, i mean after losing so much but still having the determination to find your leaks and griiiiind it all the way back up,it looks like you're destined for success. I'm grinding
the micros,also inspired by Athene (never played a single session before
his poker videos), doing pretty well, i try to learn from my mistakes
and i never tilt, though i fear that my weakness is not being able to
recover from a big downswing/failing to adapt to a higher stake and
losing determination in the end. Whenever i fail ill keep this thread in mind

gl, keep owning!

[Zapatos80]

Thanks everyone! I decided to start a blog of my own to put all my posts/ideas & future stuff in one place. Here's the link for anyone who cares to follow : http://zapatos80.blogspot.com/

[Wookie]

Bipolar (rapid cycling) myself here... meds would be nice, but I have learned Fish Oil (omega 3's) are enough to level me out naturally.. but I had many a rollercoaster in poker until I was able to learn that. (I now have insurance and can get that checked again)

 

Blog finally?  It's about time!  Thank you.

 

Supernova?  It's about time!  Congrats on the perseverance of attaining your goal :)

 

Next year will be fun :)

[Miron]

nice story , very similar to mine SN in one year after started playing poker because of athene.